Nic’s Notes: Empire Records

Hey Everyone!

As I was watching Empire Records, I was typing out my thoughts and I thought I’d share the notes from my very first impressions. Hope you enjoy!

  • I was closing retail stores by myself when I was 16…What kind of dramatic lame ass think this is the epitome of responsibility? Obviously someone who can’t be trusted.
  • Also, what year is this? How old are these people?
  • Oh, god. It’s only 4 min in and this leather jacket wearing, motorcycle riding stereotype of an angsty white guy took the entire closing money because he found plans for a national retailer’s buyout of the small record store. 
  • Sadly, that national chain could probably afford more employees. I hate Capitalism sometimes.
  • 5 minutes in and I hate this guy. I already forgot his name. Or did they not say it yet?
  • “Baby, you are sex.” What kind of white, male teen fantasy is this?
  • Also, wtf is Craps. I don’t understand this game. This guy is going to lose everything.
  • So, this guy is a moron. Who the fuck thinks they’re really going to walk into a casino and quadruple their money, first of all? Second of all, his “poetic rant” about why he’s putting all of his money down on a 2nd bet is annoying and I appreciate everyone at the table having the same wtf/stfu expression.
  • “I wonder if I’ll be held responsible for this?” I WANT TO FIGHT HIM
  • If he was really smart, he would have set up some like charity benefit or asked for donations???? 
  • WTF is this guy’s name? Joe…Lucas… Joe Lucas? Lucas Joe? Does he have 2 first names?
  • Oh! Lol, so his name is Lucas and Joe is the store owner and he was whispering to the store owner lol.
  • Like, if this movie turned into John Wick, I would totally understand.
  • “I will offer myself”…Have some self esteem cory
  • So while Cory is trying to fuck some famous? guy, this other guy with the most 90’s haircut whose name I also forgot is going to profess his love? this should go well
  • WTF is happening with the m&ms. 
  • I bet Joe could save a fortune not having 20 half stone teens working during their slowest hours.
  • Why the fuck did he just set fire to the CD? Idiot.
  • Omfg… Rex Manning is the cheesiest mother fucker. How is anyone attracted to this man, his awful song, and this terrible video?
  • Lucas is a moron. “It’s not gone, it’s in Atlantic City.” $9000 is a big deal now! Even with inflation. I would have straight up murdered this guy back then. 
  • What year is this again?
  • 1999! LOL Thank you, Squish Face
  • WHAT. IS. HAPPENING? Is this guy about to fuck that wall art
  • Omg… Deb… Our angry teen female cliche.
  • omg… Why would Lucas offer to close again after he just lost $9000! I hate him.
  • Lol, Omg, I’m not even going to say shit about Deb chopping off her hair. Upset women chopping off their hair is totally normal. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve given myself horrible bangs lol Also, she can pull off the shaved head look, so kudos. She’s my favorite. She also hasn’t talked yet
  • So I appreciate the one guy being like “Dude, what is wrong?” Then Lucas has to be all stupid. “She’s in the store, she’ll be fine.” Shut up idiot. Why are you so obsessed with this store?
  • Good god, Cory is so overdramatic that she ran away after hearing Deb give her a slight diss. I forgot Squish Face’s character’s name… But her being shitty to Deb in this state makes HER the asshole.
  • WTF…Why are they having a mosh pit in a store. I think I hate this movie.
  • Omg… Joe was able to get a partnership in the store ownership and Lucas ruined it by losing all of the money and then had the audacity to complain that the owner is “the man” OMFG
  • Thank you, 90’s for paving the way for me to have pink hair, tattoos, and piercings at my job without it being an issue. 
  • Is Joe going to commit insurance fraud? Fuck Lucas.
  • Rex Manning Day! I also want to fight Rex Manning. I think I’m angry right now. THis is why Raph is my favorite turtle and I love Casey Jones…I can relate to their anger issues.
  • Mark… This guy has 0 brain cells.
  • Okay, Lucas confronting a shoplifter was kind of funny.
  • Ladies and Gentlemen, introducing the douchebag known as Rex Manning
  • Thisshoplifter is super stupid. Call thefucking cops.
  • Omg… why is this girl wearing nothing but an apron. isn’t she like17? Good lord, Joe needs to just give this shithole to Music Town
  • Can someone explain why this “super star” took 100 photos WITH the shoplifter?
  • Lol, so why is the shoplifter just hanging out with everyone after Rex Manning starts signing stuff.
  • Would Axel Rose stop for Rex Manning if he were stranded? You don’t know AxelRose, he might. I mean look at Snoop and Martha. Opposites attract.
  • HAHAHA.Rex Manning is actually older in his career. Omg, this insane lady signing his song at him. I love her.
  • Oh lawd, upset Joe is gonna go bang on the drums. 
  • Okay, so I have never seen or heard of such private listening booths and people are fucking inthere?people are vile.
  • Omg… Joe stalling with envelopes is the funniest and dumbest plan.
  • Deb’s boyfriend or ex-boyfriend sucks already. Deb deserves better.
  • Omg, Mark just tried to kiss a random stranger. Wait, did he just kiss her foot. Ew.
  • Oooh… THe cops took THAT LONG to get there.
  • Poor Deb… She’s genuinely going through some shit. I like that Joe is genuinely being nice to her.
  • Omg.. Cory is fucking insane.
  • OMFG… Rex is awful. For a minute I genuinely thought he was going to be like”Go, Child, let me eat in peace” Then he whipped out his dick. Cory’s having an honest reaction.
  • Omg.. So Cory had her own fucking idea and vision of going to fuck Rex Manning and then has the audacity to call squish face a slut?
  • Who is this weirdo with the meth mouth that keeps showing up?
  • Ew, is Squish Face going to fuck him?
  • WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THIS STORE. AJ and Deb are boredline fucking in the center of the store
  • Cory’s on pills… Surprise!
  • Lucas is such a shit. For someone who lost 9 grand, he is super fucking shitty. 
  • I’m glad Joe roughed him up
  • I love that AJ tried to beat up RexManning, but poor Gina having revenge sex with Rex Manning.
  • Good lord, Drama Queens. wow. Gina freaking out at Cory And then Cory screaming and trashing the store.
  • Lol, I love Deb, I wish I had her as a friend when I was going through my shit when I was younger.
  • LOL. GWAR. This Mark kid is soooo high.
  • I like Jane. I hope she somehow helps Joe.
  • Meth Mouth and his Harvard is another planet kinda makes sense
  • Lol… What? They’re giving Deb a funeral
  • LOL. Wait, sothey’re so busy and 99% of the staff is fucking around with a fake funeral while the stoner is trying to ring out angry customerslol
  • I liked Gina and Cory’s make up.
  • Look at shoplifting loser and his old timey pistol that he doesn’t know how to use.
  • Um… OMG… The shoplifter wants to work at the record store so bad he’s willing to shoot it. This kid is totally going to kill his girlfriend.
  • How did they JUST think of doing a rave/concert to keep the store alive? SERIOUSLY! That was literally the first thing I Thought of.
  • I forgot about Mitch. I mean, dude sucks, but I get it, that’s his money.
  • Lord… He hates the store so much that he’s practically giving the store away to Joe? He’s so stupid
  • Squish Face put on a good concert
  • Cory is annoying and I actually kinda hate her and AJ together. They’ve had almost 0 interaction this entire time. I have investment in them. ANd she’s being so weird. Did she get electrocuted, wtf is happening? Is sheon pills again?
  • Okay, so overall… I enjoyed it. I didn’t hate it. I love 90’s music, so I liked the soundtrack. But it wasn’t the worst movie. If I remove my cynical self, I can appreciate this movie. Ican see how for the time, this movie was probably great and if I saw this when Iwas younger, I would have loved it. I would watch it again. But in general, I had no investment in the characters and what was going on with them. So maybe it was the soundtrack that kept me going. lol

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